WHEN YOU'RE NOT APPRECIATED FOR ALL YOU DO!

What do you do when you're not appreciated for all you do? Do you stop giving until you receive something in return or the praise you deserve? Do you yell and scream at those who have taken you for granted? Do you say nothing and just keep giving?

This just happened to me recently and I was very disappointed. I made an agreement with someone dear to me. Not only did I hold up my end, but I gave even more than I said I would give and he dropped the ball when it was passed to him. He didn't hold up his end and left me hanging without a phone call or apology.

I waited a few days to see if I would receive a phone call and decided to reach out to him. Not only did this person not apologize, but lied and said, "I was just about to call you." I said, tell me the truth and he said, "Well, I thought about calling you." In the calmest way, I mentioned all I did and what he didn't do. I also mentioned how disappointed I was and said, "Good night". Well, I haven't heard from him yet. But, it's OK, because I kept my word and that is what matters the most to me. I do know that the agreement is off until he makes up for his loss and even after that I chose to call the agreement off completely until he can prove himself worthy.

A Family that Communicates......

Communication is the key, especially to keep the intimacy within the family. Talking "to" my spouse and children, not at them, means a lot. I listen more to what they have to say and talk less. I don't interrupt them when speaking, but hear the whole sum of the matter to get a clear understanding and then respond or just say nothing until the time is right.

I'm not as judgmental as I used to be. My family confides in me more now that I've changed to being more of a listening ear. When communication grows, love is enhanced.

Let's Just Talk!

I had a two hour conversation with my son. I didn't interrogate or judge him about anything. We just talked about whatever came to mind. One conversation flowed into the next beginning with what his thoughts were about school and teachers to both of our childhood experiences. I told him things that happened while I was growing up in a household with 5 siblings. He laughed at all my "horror stories"of being tormented by my brothers, school experiences and more.

We also related our experiences with my parents (his grandparents), the best meals they prepared for the family, their words of encouragement and warnings. We also talked about great and challenging moments we experienced as a family. We invested precious moments with each other to do nothing more than relate, and time flew by so fast it was past his bedtime, for he had to get up early for school the next day. The great thing about it was he respected my time of sharing as I did his and never showed a sign of boredom.

I think we as parents should take more time to just listen, talk and share wisdom with our children without being judgemental of them. They will be more willing to confide in us about everything.

Little things done out of the norm for you, may mean so much to someone else.

Two of my sister's share a birthday in the same month, one year and two days apart. It was never like me to buy birthday cards, but this year I had the urge to do something different. Well, being that we are not only not in the same house anymore, but they both live out-of-state. So just giving a card would for me take a little more effort than placing it in their hands.

So, I went to the store, and the first two cards were the prefect two. It was like they jumped out at me. I didn't have to look any further, but of course the reasoning mind had me to look further. Still the first two were the best. I made it home signed the cards and placed them in a packaging envelope. And the next day it snowed. Another challenge, because I didn't desire to go out, but I did and mailed the letters.

I also called them both and they were really pleased and "surprised" to receive the cards, something out of the ordinary for me. Little things, out of the norm for us, mean so much to others.

You are not a product of your environment!

This came to me as I was having a conversation with my son. He has witnessed some things within the family and told me today, "I will not be that way, I will not be a disappointment to my wife and children." That made me feel wonderful.

There is no "perfect" family. Challenges are a part of being here on this earth, but whatever has happened in your upbringing in the negative sense doesn't have to be your reality today. You see, my son took what he saw that wasn't right in his heart and made up his mind that he wouldn't allow it to mold him, but he will be lead by love. And I asked him, what makes a family? His answer, "Love." If we would walk in love this world would be paradise.