Oct. 9th my brother celebrates his birthday, but since 2000, he's been going through it because my mom passed away on that day. What he feels is something I will never understand, because it's more than my feelings of hurt I feel. So, one of our rituals is to go to the grave site (both parents are there), and do a little landscaping.
We went this Sunday with my son and his dad and it was a pleasant experience, but moreso a time of healing. We cleaned off the stone and planted huge mumms around it. We also laughed and took pictures. I can see each year being more of a celebration for him of his life and her transition to a higher plane of existence vs. a morbid death. Having family around definitely helps the heart to heal when someone very close to you passes on.
The beautiful thing about it is both of my parents are together....and we love them today more than ever.
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