Children Get Stressed Too!

Although I'm divorced and my son doesn't live with me, I stay in close contact. He is a teenager and of course he doesn't tell me everything at first. We are working on that. I know many of you can relate. Even when they are going through stressful periods in their life. Many times what happens is it begins to become evident in their school work and attitude of a "I just don't care" attitude. Sometimes to really get th open up is like pulling teeth. One thing I tell my son is, "No matter how mad you think I may get, just tell me what's going on. I would rather know and be upset, then to find out something happened that could have been prevented if only you would open up and talk to me." Parents don't ignore your children when they are down and out and don't be too hard on them before you get to the root cause of what's bothering them. Once you know everything, then if you need to come down hard on them do so. It will help save your future headaches.

The Package Deal

Any person you get involved with, of course, if your close with your family, has to be interviewed by everybody. I don't know if you've experienced this, but your parents and siblings will tell you the truth of how they feel about this person. I think that is very important and we should take heed to their opinions. Why? Who knows us better than our loved ones...and many times we can get so "CAUGHT UP" that we don't see all the warning signs, if there be any at all. So dating really becomes a package deal, especially if you decide you would like to settle down. The person you choose also gets your family whether they like it or not and vise versa.

For those who are single, my God Father has the perfect book, "How To Win The Dating Game".

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Did your child lie to you?

How do you respond when you know your child has lied to you? Do you immediately get upset and start yelling, accusing him/her of being dishonest? If, so, does it help the situation any? No. Why? Especially with teenagers, you want to keep the line of communication open, so they feel they can tell you anything. Well, they have their moments when they won't and so do you. We as parents don't tell the truth all the time, so we shouldn't fly off the handle when our children display the same action. Now, they must be taught a lesson. The first is, when you lie and they know you have, you must get that issue corrected and let them witness it. If not, they are going to do as you do, not as you say. Then, bring correction to them. I will confront my children, if it is necessary, but I rather let them convict themselves and come to me. This way, I know they've learned a valuable lesson. I also ask them,"What have you learned from this experience?" Then I just let it go, not holding it against them.

Family Reuinion

Keeping in touch with family is important. Finding your roots in the evolution of history awakens one to the awareness of where they belong. If you don't know where you've come from, how will you know where you are going? Many of our forefathers accomplished such a great deal in their lives, but a lot of history is lost. We must begin to dig deep and share our royal heritage with children and grandchildren. In the ancient days of old, the fathers sat with their sons to give them insight regarding the sacred principles of living a life of righteousness. I enjoyed my family's reunion in ATL...living and loving the discovery of my family's ROYAL HERITAGE.

The Perfect Family!

You will never find perfection in a family as far as the "fairytale" always peaches and cream. That's just unrealistic. The beauty of having a loving family is that the values and morals are sound. Unity is the strength...and strength gives power to endure trials, challenges or obstacles. Hey, that is the perfection--the love that flows from heart to heart. Looking out for one another, checking up on one another, encouraging one another and of course the priority..prayer it what works to keep family together. A family that prays together, stays together.

Love Is What It Does!

There's nothing like having parents that raise me and my siblings according to the principles of true love. I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters who I am even closer to now, although our parents have been deceased for over 11 years. Because of this, we are always a support system for each other. My youngest brother and his wife just had a new baby girl. What a beautiful, yet frightening experience for his wife who is Japanese and never held a baby before in her life. So because my brother wasn't able to take off the day after they returned home, I showed up at their doorstep that morning. Do you know she just got home from the hospital, I came to help her and she wanted to be of service to me, but this time I declined. So I cooked, cleaned and took care of the baby at times when she needed to rest. This is what we do as family--love is what it does.

A Check-Up from Someone Special!

Great afternoon Women Empowered By Love and friend, just and update on my 4th day of consecration. I had to experience an emotional release because I was defensive towards someone special. Of course, he checked me and that's what I needed. People in our lives are mirror reflections so we can make adjustments for the better. I'm perfect in the Most High God, but not in this realm of physicality. Let's keep it real. So, now I feel much better and I can have my green drink with mango because my body needs it not to feed my emotional crave for temporary fix/gratification. Maybe later as I slowing introduce foods back into my eating regimen, I may have some soup...keeping it light tonight.

Baby Brings Reunion!

This weekend was a memorial celebration of two people who were in love with each other back in the "40's" and as a result, six children were born. Of course it doesn't stop there. Now many years later, as we grew and had our families, grand and great grandchildren were added to the family legacy. This Memorial Day weekend was a special event for one of my brother's and his wife who are expecting their first child. Although, some of our siblings live in Virginia, we all came together along with our children to celebrate not just the new addition that will be here soon, but the reason we are able to come together, our parents. If it wasn't for them, their parents and even our ancestors, we wouldn't be here to give honor for our lives and the lives of our children/grandchildren.....and the legacy of love, honor and prosperity will live on throughout eternity.

Funeral Reunion

When family members live in different states/countries, coming together can be challenging. For the most part family reunions bring everyone together for a joyous occasion. Funeral reunions are just the same in a sense of bringing everyone together for a time of morning or celebration depending on the age and/or the reason the person has passed. I just experienced this with my family due to the passing of my cousin. I was able to see some family members I haven't seen in years as well as some new additions to our family.

Internal Bond vs. External Luxuries

A family foundation that exemplifies love, true morals and values are very important to teach our children as we are raising them. Quality moments invested with them mean more to them than all the gifts and other material possessions we buy. What happens if there is a financial challenge in the household and you aren't able to afford the luxuries as in times past. If you have built an intimate relationship with your children, it wouldn't matter much at all. What matters most is the love and closeness that they experience.

A Cool Call at 2:00AM & Last Minute Decision

It's great to have a wonderful relationship with your children, but hard to wean them from being"spoiled" for so many years. My daughter calls me 2:00AM, asks me if I'm sleep and then tells me she just put a tattoo of my name and a design on her foot. My first thought was, "Why on your foot"? Then I thought, just as she said, "Mom, following in your footsteps." Although sleepy, it made me feel wonderful.

My son decides he wants to go to the movies with his friend at the last minute. He's transitioning into a young man, but not able to drive as of yet. So, "mommy", as he calls me decides to stop working and take them. Of course, the 10:00 movie. This means I have to go pick them up about 12:30.

Family Reuinion

Whoever came up with the idea of Family reunions had to be one who really valued his family, from ancestors to future generations. Proper morals in every aspect of life should be taught and passed down to our children, their children, so on and so forth...and we receive the wisdom form our parents, grandparents, etc. It's all about learning and teaching----our original customs and principals that allows family to grow in love, health and wealth.

Celebrate Your Child's Growth

Just because your children age each year doesn't mean they mature in certain aspects of their lives. Being responsible doesn't come with a new year, but cycles of action they take to learn and apply to make themselves less dependent on you. It feels good to see my daughter finally getting it! The weaning process takes less years for some children and more for others. It depends on how you've raised them. As a child, I gave my daughter everything, she didn't have to ask. This hindered her growing into a responsible young lady because she continued to look to me for everything. So although it was hard for me, I had to just cut her off completely. And guess what? It worked. She has a great job and her own place without my help.

Have you ever gone out your way for someone to make their birthday special and they complained about what they didn't receive? This just happened to me recently. A family member had a list of what they desired and I bought what was at the top of his list. Not just one item on the list, but SEVEN! I worked extra to have even more of a financial surplus, so I wouldn't miss the money invested in these items.

I even took him out and had him pick what he wanted. After all that, I noticed that he seemed down. So, I asked what was wrong....and why did I ask that question. He began to complain about who didn't give him anything, so on and so forth, but never once did he acknowledge what I did for him. I even talked to him for over two hours to cheer him up, called him the next day to check on him and he still sounded down and out.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. After all I've done, It wasn't appreciated. He focused on what he didn't have, making my gifts seem worthless. I decided to stop calling him for a few days, because he didn't appreciate me nor what I did for him.

Love Is and Action!

After working throughout the night with about an hour and a half of rest, I had to assist my Pastor in our Holistic Health Clinic this morning at 9AM, not a normal clinic day. Afterwards I worked on the computer in my office until class at 11AM. The good thing about it, everything is in one place. The class was expected to be one hour, but was actually 2 1/2. At this point my eyes are burning because I need some sleep. Right after class everyone noticed that one of our classmates, who was from Brooklyn (1 hour 1/2 away) wasn't feeling well.

So we gave her some of our natural products from the clinic to help her feel better, but although the process wasn't immediate, she just wanted to get home as quickly as possible. She asked me to call a cab. Now this is from Bloomfield Twp. to Brooklyn which would cost at least $125.00. I just couldn't allow that to happen. I called a friend and we took her right to her doorstep. The blessing in it was we weren't looking for anything and she paid us more than she would have given a taxi driver. The point isn't in the money received, but in the action of love. We would have done it anyway.

Do something for someone not looking for anything in return.

Does Your Sick Loved One Make You Sick?

You can get go bogged down taking care of a loved one who is sick that you neglect your own needs. You make sure they have proper nutrition from food, yet you become malnutriton by skipping meals. You make sure they have the vitamins, supplements or "medicine" they need, yet you fail to provide your body with the necessary vitamins and minerals you need to help you handle the added responsibility. You make sure they have plenty of water and fluids, but you become dehydrated. Little do you know it, you become sick and are not aware, because your mind is so focused on someone else. Remember, the body can take but so much abuse until you are forced to take care of yourself when sickness knocks on your door.

Simply the Best!

The best husband, wife or companion in life is one who is your best friend; who sticks closer to you than family. One who will tell you the truth even though it hurts, but is still there to help you heal. He/she will never leave nor forsake you..there til the end.

Respect Individuality!

When you grow up with siblings, there are many personalities to deal with. People tend to become defensive towards their brothers and sisters for being who they are. I recently went through an experience where I was treated unfairly, but although disappointed it didn't last. Why? I realized that no one is like me, each one of my siblings is unique in their own way. Therefore, their personalities reflect their individuality. They respond differently to situations and understanding this, I don't get upset or defensive when one doesn't respond the way I think he/she should. At least not for long. I accept them for who they are and this makes living life with them so much easier. I believe this is why the six of us have maintained a close relationship til this day.

It's means a lot to celebrate a family members' birthday with them. What saddens me is when they are no longer near you for those precious moments to happen right before your eyes. To send a card and gift helps, but it's nothing like being present.

Cherish those who are near to you, because you will miss them if they happen to move away.

Asking for Forgiveness!

I've come to find out recently through finally open communication, that someone who I dated was really hurt by me. I had no idea until now. It wasn't that I cheated, but by failing to listen and understand what his needs were as an individual. I felt so bad because this is something he carried with him for many years. The only reason it came up is because I was on a mission to reach out to people who have played an important role in my life to make sure that I was of value to them.

And there, when I thought I was ok with everyone, the truth was presented before me. I asked for forgiveness with no hesitation. I'm not able to change the past, but the healing process began, and n0w we have a new found relationship.

So, what about you? Who have you hurt because you failed to have open communication and just listen?

Focus on the best with your children.

Don't be so hard on your children. Use positive reinforcement to encourage them to do what's right. Just think! Whenever receiving the results from a test, the professor/teacher tells you how many you have wrong, not how many you have right. If a child's score is 98 questions right out of 100 then that should be more of the focus. They should definitely be rewarded, this way they will continue to push for perfection with little stress.

Love Conquers All!

What do you do when family members betray you? Do you seek secret revenge? Do you approach them outwardly to expose them? Do you blast them on FB or other social media networks? Would any of these or all make you feel better in the end? Probably not. We have to realize first that God gave us family to prepare us for enemies.....LOL

Family consists of people. People + People = Problems....If you can understand this equation, half the battle is won. Now how do you deal with this? Easy, walk in love and endure the cross. If you do confront a family member for the wrong they've done, make sure your intentions are to reason and reconcile. Never approach or confront without a solution, or fuse the fire and not be the one to put it out. Do everything in the spirit of love. They will respect you for that.

Tragic Family Death--How do you deal with it?

How do you deal with a young family member who passes on from this life because of someone's stupidity?

At the age of 22, you just feel your whole life is before you. I know for me I had so many ideas and desires, that were just dreams, but I just knew that nothing would stop me from accomplishing those desires.....and so it was with Tiff. At the college age of pre-independence where life is a joy; work, school and having fun goes together for most young people this age. There is the thought of waking up the next day, being one step closer to your desires and dreams being fulfilled.

A lifetime of hope, dreams and aspirations buried with the life that is no more because someone decided to drink and drive. How terrible! How do you deal with it? Well, for her no one ever has to worry about her comings and goings, because she's at total peace and rest from all labor. The sad thing is, she's not able to fulfill her treasure of dreams that had once filled her heart.

It is a time for us through this tragedy, to judge our lives while we are still here and take inventory...have we been walking uprightly in proper morals and values? How do we really see ourselves? Are we living our dreams or just dreaming? How do we treat people? How are we taking advantage of this precious gift (life) that can be taken away and one day will be no more?

Let's not take life or people for granted. Let's love our families better. Forgive openly and move on to a new relationship with the person we maybe upset with. Share quality time with our children. Talk a little less and listen a little more. Help where help is needed...share and care for others. For we don't know the day or hour when our time is no more. And of course, when it is all said and done, would you have said more and done less? Hmmmm....Selah...Stop and Think about it!

WHEN YOU'RE NOT APPRECIATED FOR ALL YOU DO!

What do you do when you're not appreciated for all you do? Do you stop giving until you receive something in return or the praise you deserve? Do you yell and scream at those who have taken you for granted? Do you say nothing and just keep giving?

This just happened to me recently and I was very disappointed. I made an agreement with someone dear to me. Not only did I hold up my end, but I gave even more than I said I would give and he dropped the ball when it was passed to him. He didn't hold up his end and left me hanging without a phone call or apology.

I waited a few days to see if I would receive a phone call and decided to reach out to him. Not only did this person not apologize, but lied and said, "I was just about to call you." I said, tell me the truth and he said, "Well, I thought about calling you." In the calmest way, I mentioned all I did and what he didn't do. I also mentioned how disappointed I was and said, "Good night". Well, I haven't heard from him yet. But, it's OK, because I kept my word and that is what matters the most to me. I do know that the agreement is off until he makes up for his loss and even after that I chose to call the agreement off completely until he can prove himself worthy.

A Family that Communicates......

Communication is the key, especially to keep the intimacy within the family. Talking "to" my spouse and children, not at them, means a lot. I listen more to what they have to say and talk less. I don't interrupt them when speaking, but hear the whole sum of the matter to get a clear understanding and then respond or just say nothing until the time is right.

I'm not as judgmental as I used to be. My family confides in me more now that I've changed to being more of a listening ear. When communication grows, love is enhanced.

Let's Just Talk!

I had a two hour conversation with my son. I didn't interrogate or judge him about anything. We just talked about whatever came to mind. One conversation flowed into the next beginning with what his thoughts were about school and teachers to both of our childhood experiences. I told him things that happened while I was growing up in a household with 5 siblings. He laughed at all my "horror stories"of being tormented by my brothers, school experiences and more.

We also related our experiences with my parents (his grandparents), the best meals they prepared for the family, their words of encouragement and warnings. We also talked about great and challenging moments we experienced as a family. We invested precious moments with each other to do nothing more than relate, and time flew by so fast it was past his bedtime, for he had to get up early for school the next day. The great thing about it was he respected my time of sharing as I did his and never showed a sign of boredom.

I think we as parents should take more time to just listen, talk and share wisdom with our children without being judgemental of them. They will be more willing to confide in us about everything.

Little things done out of the norm for you, may mean so much to someone else.

Two of my sister's share a birthday in the same month, one year and two days apart. It was never like me to buy birthday cards, but this year I had the urge to do something different. Well, being that we are not only not in the same house anymore, but they both live out-of-state. So just giving a card would for me take a little more effort than placing it in their hands.

So, I went to the store, and the first two cards were the prefect two. It was like they jumped out at me. I didn't have to look any further, but of course the reasoning mind had me to look further. Still the first two were the best. I made it home signed the cards and placed them in a packaging envelope. And the next day it snowed. Another challenge, because I didn't desire to go out, but I did and mailed the letters.

I also called them both and they were really pleased and "surprised" to receive the cards, something out of the ordinary for me. Little things, out of the norm for us, mean so much to others.

You are not a product of your environment!

This came to me as I was having a conversation with my son. He has witnessed some things within the family and told me today, "I will not be that way, I will not be a disappointment to my wife and children." That made me feel wonderful.

There is no "perfect" family. Challenges are a part of being here on this earth, but whatever has happened in your upbringing in the negative sense doesn't have to be your reality today. You see, my son took what he saw that wasn't right in his heart and made up his mind that he wouldn't allow it to mold him, but he will be lead by love. And I asked him, what makes a family? His answer, "Love." If we would walk in love this world would be paradise.